Thursday, June 24, 2010

Out Of The Gaze

This post should make real sense to folks who have been wearing glasses for the better part of their lives. During my high school years, I remember reading an autobiographical piece on how the author had to spend a few days without wearing glasses.
He had described the experience as being very destabilising. According to him, he could not think without wearing glasses. The funny part is that glasses or spectacles do become an extension of ALL our sense organs. The other day a friend of mine mentioned that he could not hear what the other person was saying because he himself was not wearing his pair of glasses!
I realised that without my pair of glasses, I am truly helpless. Or is it hopeless? I think any veteran-spectacles wearer will agree when I say that we somehow equate our vision to other sensory experiences. Like the aforementioned author, I find it difficult to make my mind work without my spectacles.
Then I tried something which felt good. While coming home on the bus, I decided to take off my spectacles while staring outside the window. (In moments of anger, my mother has often confessed that she thinks that while creating Dog, God made me. I guess she is drawing the parallel from the way dogs stick their heads out of car windows, eagerly lolling their tongues. I however, do NOT loll my tongue. I stare.)
Anyway, I digress. I stared out of the window at the world sans my high powered glasses. Everything looked like a pleasant blurry haze. While I could discern faces, I could not make out their facial features. And then I had an epiphany. (I use the word for cheap drama. It is not that sensational perhaps. ) For once I could stare without being stared at.
I feel that we live under a perpetual gaze. (Foucaldians, back off! The Pan-opticon can wait.) At home, we are under the stare of our family and outside, under the multimillion gazes of strangers. And a woman especially has to cope with the lecherous leers of perverts who are sizing her up. That lecherous gaze exists because we are able to see it. We return the gaze and the process is completed.
But that evening I was liberated from that. Yes, liberating is the word. I was not subject to that all knowing gaze anymore. That was because I could see without "looking" or "gazing".
I stared happily at the hazy world outside. For once the details did not matter. I saw a million faces that day, and not the million eyes under which I have lived all my life.
(For the non-spectacle people: If you don't get this, then worry not. We bespectacled people are not part of a secret cult. )

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Trying to be a "rut buster"

I am stuck in such a rut that it's not even funny.Since the exams ended, I haven't been doing much work. Sleeping, eating and meeting friends is all that I have been up to. All the deadlines that are looming up are conveniently forgotten. Forcing myself to work is not helping. On the bright side, I have been watching a lot of films lately.That includes:

1.The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus-A surreal fantasy enhanced by three presences, namely Heath Ledger, Jude Law and Colin Farrell. Law is an utter disappointment. Farrell is great and I will reserve any comments on Ledger because it might turn into a hero worshiping rant on the man. But it is amazing to watch how friends have chipped in to complete what Ledger couldn't finish.

2.This Is It- I rarely cry at the movies, and I am not a Michael Jackson fan. This left me in tears. I like his music but am not crazy about it. This documentary left me in tears at the sheer untimely waste of talent. Possibly the world's greatest performer and entertainer, Jackson's moves in the film screamed anything but "50!". Yes, he was fifty and still executing those crazy dance movements under the blinding lights.

3.Up- Ah, what a cute piece of animation genius. An apt pick-me-up for a rut-buster.

4.A Bug's Life- I will think twice before I squish an ant again. Only Pixar could make a slimy bug look so adorable.
My blog title is a reference to a popular sitcom. Can you figure it out?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Mad mad child.

the crazy child.
the jingling pebbles and the laughing glasses.
You run and you run forever.
I will walk and try to write down what you say.
It is very difficult when you keep laughing all the time.
There is a hidden child in my pocket which is giggling too.
The pool is very shallow and I will hurt my feet.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Mediocre tales.

A calf stares at the shop doors while the man hugs the railings for spurious solace.
Picking away at a dead rat..
a grimy crow tries to be Zen.
Green for me and blue for you;
It is the birth place for dead crows who gloat at sleeping beggars.
Childish rhyme and dead verse look good on paper.
I do not like you on paper but I would rather play the tambourine at your funeral.
Fake blood smudges the walls of the broken school.
The poet is desperate to be heard.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Cheese Dervishes

The cheese is dancing under the halogen lights.
Red flags flutter in the wind
and then the cheese dances, and dances
and dances...
Forever out of reach of the blue legged ones.
The mice are playing...or do they call them mouses?
It must be the muses...
gibberish squabbles in the sewers...
Me, you and the mice who muse over the cheese dervishes...